Thursday, 19 January 2017
Mind-Shift, No Longer An Addict...
A lot has been changing here since I last posted in September. Mind-shifting, life altering changes. Last summer was the most difficult period I've ever experienced, watching my daughter being eaten by an anxiety monster was horrendous. There were times I though I wasn't going to make it, but I did. Things have gotten easier, and my daughter has just started to access some specialist support.
During our lowest point, I did think that maybe I wouldn't make it, my heart would stop from the stress. Dramatic I know, but that's just how I felt. Some nights we never got any sleep. On the nights I did sleep, I wondered if I would wake up. I though about what would happen if I wasn't there, how my husband would cope caring for out two very complicated girls. I wrote a mental list of all those wonderful women I have in my life, and what roles they could take over, the parts they could play in helping my girls to become adults. I can't believe I'm writing this, but it's truly how I felt.
I also thought about our home, and how much stuff I had around me, it started to suffocate me, stress and stuff I now know, is not a healthy combination for me. All this happened around the same time I came across the book I mentioned in my last post, Simple Matters by Erin Boyle. She and her family live very simply, in a tiny apartment in New York. As I read the book, I started to understand what I needed to do, and I started to reach out to a new way, a simple way in which to live my life. I also came across more people living a simpler life, and sharing the benefits of their new lifestyle.
Since September, our home has undergone a transformation. Every room, cupboard, drawer has been decluttered. I've been ruthless, I've got rid of at least 60% of our stuff. Everyone has benefitted from this, not just myself. We now only have the things that we love on display, and we only have things that we use in our cupboards. A cellar that was full to the ceiling of stuff, now only has a few boxes of useful things. I've got rid of drawers and cupboards, because we no longer need them. We have lots more space now to breathe.
We not only have more space, but time too, cleaning and caring for our home takes a lot less time and energy now. Can you remember the Half Hour Allotment book that I used to change the way I gardened? Well I'm adopting the same principles in my home too, little focused chunks of cleaning and clearing. Very manageable. Not overwhelming. Brilliant.
Sorting through our stuff has also made us look at the way we shop, being mindful of how and why we might purchase something. We are looking also at the amount of waste we produce, and plasticwe consume. It's a whole new path we are on. I say we, it did start out as just me, but slowly my husband is joining in, the girls have been fantastic at letting go of stuff. They are finding the waste thing more difficult. Little steps, I'm trying to take things gently with them, after all they are genetically programmed to resist change. We are even changing what we eat, and loosing weight as a result.
So you could say I'm no longer a Vintage Sheet Addict. I've yet to clear out my studio, it's my last job to do, but you know, I no longer feel the need to hoard things. So I will keep enough fabric so I can do a few projects and the rest will go. None of this has been hard, even sentimental things, if it's not something I love, has gone. I've shed some tears as I've been sorting, but then I've let go. It's been very cathartic, liberating.
But now for something more difficult. Letting go of this blog. Vintage Sheet Addict is no longer relevant to my life, it doesn't reflect who I am anymore. I would love to share my new life with you, and I've tried my best to start a new blog, but no matter how hard I try, I've just not got the intelligence, or computer awareness to create a new one, everything fails. This post has taken ages, I'm not even sure this will publish.
It's very important to me that my blog reflects my life, and is visually pleasing to me. I can no longer access any of my new images, and I can't even set up a new blog through blogger. Every avenue I take has a block. I'm a big believer in fate, so perhaps it isn't the right time for me to blog anymore. I hope I can again one day, but it has to be simple and not stressful. That Blogsy App was fab, but no longer working ;)
So I say goodbye, and thank you for your friendship and support. I will keep trying, and if ever I do manage to set one up I will pop a link on here. I am still on Instagram but not as much as before. I'm
happy_little_plot should anyone wish to find me, I know not many of you use IG. I'm so glad I've been able to get back on here, one of my biggest regrets was not to say a proper goodbye, and let you that I was doing just fine.
Sending my love,
Amanda :) xxx